I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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