all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize