That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
