She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i've created a new STD.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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