I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
