he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
