he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
COCAINE IS GR8
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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