his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize