You're completely useless in the revolution.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
