what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize