I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Drunk is not a location!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
