NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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