how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
