But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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