stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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