Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
