he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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