idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
