Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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