So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
