No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
