woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
