New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
