White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
