More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
