i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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