i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
