Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked

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(626): View more from California

that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.

Fav 21 1022 5387
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I'm watching ellen!

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show

Fav 12 11847 1904
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(518): View more from New York

i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock

Fav 9 6873 1364
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(256): View more from Alabama

IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.

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(207): View more from Maine

My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?

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(205): View more from Alabama

I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.

Fav 0 40 12
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