You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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