She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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