hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
