I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
