Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
