You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
