Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
