So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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