it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
