i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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