this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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