If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
