it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
