this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
