Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
