i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
