Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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