is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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