I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
