All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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