I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
