sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
