Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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