He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
