She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize