Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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