jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
