i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
