Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
