its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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