ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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