you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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