She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
