dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
