pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
