Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My vagina just clenched in fear
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
